Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The End

If you had the chance to learn the precise day and cause of your death, would you? Me, I'm going to be eaten by a cannibal on December 18th, 2033, at 8:41 am. Despite the fact that I will be merely 64 years old at the time, I'm actually quite pleased by this.

For one thing, I'm clearly going to be breakfast, which is, in my opinion, the best meal of the day.

For another, there aren't many places in the world where cannibalism is currently practiced. This means there is travel in my future, and I love traveling. Either I will be consumed by survivors after my plane crashes in the remote Andes, or I will spend my final days touring Melanesia.

Of course I might also become trapped in the Sierra Nevadas while trying to get to California in the winter, but I hope this won't be my fate. I've been to California plenty of times. If I'm going to be eaten, I want to be eaten somewhere exotic.

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